Na noite da quinta-feira, depois de passar o dia acompanhando o shit show entre Donald Trump e Elon Musk, eu estava pulando de um canal para outro na TV quando caí em uma cena de Marlon Brando no clássico Júlio César, de 1953 – uma adaptação da peça de Shakespeare.
Peguei o filme bem na famosa sequência em que Marco Antônio, interpretado por Brando, discursa aos romanos e os convence a se revoltar contra os senadores que assassinaram César – entre eles Brutus e Cássio.
A história de ambição, disputa política e poder – que culminaria com o esfaqueamento de César em 44 a.C – marcou os anos finais da República e deu início ao Império.
Dias antes, por coincidência, eu estava lendo a respeito dessa história no livro SPQR, o best-seller da inglesa Mary Beard sobre a Roma Antiga. (SPQR é a abreviação em latim de Senatus Populus Que Romanus, ‘O Senado e o Povo Romano’).
Musk, pensei, um obcecado pela queda de Roma, poderia ter tirado algumas lições da história, em sua própria sede de poder.
Tive a ideia de perguntar ao ChatGPT quais personagens de Júlio César, numa adaptação para os dias de hoje, poderiam ser interpretados por Trump, Musk e Steve Bannon.
Em segundos, a inteligência artificial não apenas indicou os papéis que cada um deveria assumir, mas também as razões para a escolha.
E foi além. O ChatGPT propôs-se ainda a escrever o script de uma cena com os três personagens. Aceitei, e o texto veio com toques de Veep e House of Cards, por sugestão da própria IA, para dar um toque contemporâneo à trama.
Trump é César, disse o ChatGPT, e Musk é Brutus.
Difícil discordar. Só achei estranho Bannon como Cássio – ou será que a máquina já está 10.000 cálculos à frente e prevê que Bannon também vai se virar contra Trump?
Abaixo, seguem os textos – em inglês, a língua em que conversei com a máquina.
***
That’s a juicy thought experiment – casting Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and Steve Bannon in ‘Julius Caesar’ could be both dramatic and satirical. Here’s a sharp, fitting casting based on their public personas and rhetorical styles:
Donald Trump as Julius Caesar
Why: Trump embodies the larger-than-life leader whose presence dominates the political landscape – much like Caesar. Both are controversial figures with devoted followers and fierce critics. The idea of Trump uttering “Et tu, Brute?” before being metaphorically (or theatrically) taken down by the political elite fits too neatly to ignore.
Elon Musk as Brutus
Why: Musk sees himself as a visionary with a strong moral compass, often justifying disruptive actions as being for the greater good. Brutus is the idealist of the play – torn between personal loyalty and civic duty. Casting Musk here underscores the tension between idealism and ambition.
Steve Bannon as Cassius
Why: Cassius is the manipulative mastermind, suspicious of Caesar’s power and the one who fans the flames of conspiracy to bring him down. That maps well to Bannon’s real-life role as a political strategist who positions himself as the anti-establishment disruptor working behind the scenes.
Bonus thought: Imagine this production as a political satire – a kind of Shakespeare meets ‘Veep’ or ‘House of Cards.’ With this trio, the dialogue would probably need modern adaptation, but the themes of ego, betrayal, and power would feel disturbingly current.
Would you like a mock script excerpt for them in those roles?
“Sure,” disse eu.
Great! Here’s a short ‘modernized satire-style scene’ from Julius Caesar, with Donald Trump as Caesar, Elon Musk as Brutus, and Steve Bannon as Cassius. It keeps Shakespearean undertones but blends in their modern personas, speech patterns, and ideologies.
Scene: The Senate (or perhaps… a high-tech boardroom)
Lights up. Caesar (Trump) enters in full grandeur, wearing a red tie like a royal sash. Bannon (Cassius) and Musk (Brutus) linger in the shadows.
CAESAR (Trump)
I came, I saw, I made Rome great again.
The people chant my name – you heard it, huge crowds.
No one’s ever seen loyalty like this.
Tremendous.
CASSIUS (Bannon) (aside to Brutus)
See how he struts, fat with flattery.
A crown in all but name.
Would you let him tweet his way to kingship, Brutus?
BRUTUS (Musk)
I like freedom.
I love innovation.
But absolute power? That disrupts the system.
It centralizes decision-making.
It’s… anti-decentralized.
CASSIUS
Exactly.
We need open-source governance.
Distributed republic, not centralized empire.
You, Brutus – people trust your judgment.
You launch rockets and speak of Mars –
they’ll follow you to a better future.
CAESAR (interrupting, to himself)
Brutus and Cassius whispering again?
Sad!
I know schemers when I see them.
Jealous, both of them. Total losers.
But I forgive them. I’m very forgiving.
It’s one of my best qualities. People say so.
BRUTUS (stepping forward)
Caesar, your rule casts a long shadow.
The republic shrinks beneath your ego.
CAESAR
I am the republic!
The best thing that ever happened to it.
Ask anyone. The Senate loves me.
Even the fake senators.
CASSIUS (to Brutus)
Now is the hour.
Rome – or his empire of mirrors.
Choose.
(They draw “data tablets” – stylized daggers – glowing with ominous light.)
BRUTUS
Forgive me, Caesar…
It’s not personal.
It’s protocol.
CAESAR
You too, Elon?
(They “stab” metaphorically – pressing shutdown commands. Caesar’s mic goes dead. He slumps over the golden podium.)
CAESAR
Sad… so sad…
But you’ll miss me when I’m gone.
(Caesar collapses. An intern runs in with a “breaking news” chyron. The republic holds its breath.)
END SCENE
***
Não contente, decidi perguntar: Quem deveria interpretar Marco Antônio?
Segue a resposta – que incluiu, entre outros, Kanye West (!!!).
***
Excellent question — and a juicy one, because Mark Antony is a pivotal character: charismatic, cunning, and politically savvy. He’s the one who turns the tide with his infamous “Friends, Romans, countrymen” speech, spinning Caesar’s death into public outrage.
For this modern parody with Trump as Caesar, Musk as Brutus, and Bannon as Cassius, here are a few strong contenders to play Mark Antony:
1.Tucker Carlson
Why: He’s a polished communicator with a deep understanding of media influence, capable of turning emotional rhetoric into political mobilization. Like Antony, he could weaponize sentiment and public opinion after the downfall of a powerful ally.
“Friends, Romans, countrymen…” becomes: “Patriots, Americans, viewers at home – lend me your ears…”
2.Vivek Ramaswamy
Why: Young, rhetorically sharp, and a populist voice who can play both insider and outsider. He’s articulate, energetic, and would love a spotlight moment to reshape the narrative post-Trump/Caesar.
Bonus: His tech background makes a perfect mirror to Musk/Brutus in the context of a future-facing Roman Republic.
3.Kanye West (Ye) (if you want to lean full satire)
Why: Unexpected, passionate, and utterly unpredictable. Could bring an emotionally chaotic, magnetic twist to the role. His version of Antony’s speech might include fashion metaphors and sudden digressions into free speech.
Totally chaotic Antony energy – and weirdly compelling.
Best Pick for Balance: Tucker Carlson
He can play it straight or sly, and his ability to rally “the base” after the fall of Caesar/Trump would land perfectly in this satirical retelling.
***
Would you like a short script of “Mark Antony’s” speech adapted for one of these actors?
“Yes!”
***
Absolutely! Here’s Mark Antony’s famous speech, reimagined for Tucker Carlson in our political satire of Julius Caesar, where:
Trump = Caesar (assassinated)
Musk = Brutus (the idealist)
Bannon = Cassius (the schemer)
Carlson = Antony (the rhetorically gifted loyalist who flips the script)
Scene: The Senate steps, live on-air. A MAGA crowd gathers. Cameras roll. Tucker Carlson steps to a podium, composed but intense.
MARK ANTONY (TUCKER CARLSON)
“Patriots… Americans… countrymen — lend me your ears.”
I come not to praise Caesar… but to clarify.
The elites would rather I be silent.
They say Caesar was ambitious.
And sure — maybe he built a few towers with his name on them.
Maybe he liked gold. A lot.
But does that mean he deserved… this?
(He gestures dramatically toward Caesar’s empty chair, now roped off with caution tape and surrounded by cable news cameras.)
Brutus says he loved the Republic.
And Cassius? He just wants transparency.
Funny, how those crying “democracy” are always the first to overturn elections.
(Gasps ripple through the crowd.)
You all remember Caesar’s tax cuts.
You remember the jobs.
You remember when gas was two bucks a gallon.
That wasn’t ambition. That was leadership.
(He holds up a red “Make Rome Great Again” cap like it’s a sacred relic.)
They say they did this for you.
But did they ask you?
You weep now. You miss him.
You feel betrayed, confused — because you are betrayed.
They took Caesar with blades.
Now they’ll take your voice with laws, with censorship, with “fact checks.”
(He leans in, quieter, deadly calm.)
And I…
I’m just a messenger.
But mark my words:
This wasn’t a cleansing. It was a coup.
(The crowd begins to murmur, then chant. Some weep. Some grab phones. The energy shifts. The funeral becomes a rally.)
END SCENE
